MUSCLE MEMORY
The medicine we need is always available to us.
The question becomes, are we available to it?
When we are in a trauma induced, dysregulated state, we're not available to it.
When we're in a place where we can utilize our tools to come back into regulation, then, we have access.
I have discovered that it takes a lot of strength training, a lot of muscle memory building. That muscle being the muscle of Trust. To anchor into memory, in an embodied way, that the guidance is here. That we are led.
We only, hmm, only, have to open to it. Allow ourselves to be willing to listen.
And because we already know on a soul level what we're asking for, what is being asked, that, in itself, often becomes the gate, the challenge.
There's a reason we've avoided what we've avoided, as long as we have.
The courage required to even ask, the state of regulation required to even ask, is a necessary component.
A lot has been said about the ability to make a choice to shift our trajectory at any point in time.
And, Yes, technically, that may be true.
And, we can use that as a weapon - which further prevents us from being able to shift our trajectory at any point in time.
It's this conundrum, this catch 22 loop, that we can go back and forth and back and forth in.
Each time I think I've gotten to the bottom of something... It is the bottom of whatever that issue is, that shadow is, that piece is, that I can handle in that moment.
Then, when I am ready, when I have the capacity, when I am equipped, when I have the skills to go to the next level -
I'm shown.
I'm guided.
I'm led.
A mentor of mine talks about commanding God, and I always had a lot of pushback about that phrase. Who am I to command God? It felt almost pompous and disrespectful.
Yet when I listened further to her explanation and understanding of this relationship, it made perfect sense.
When I am standing in a place of regulation, and empowerment, and readiness, and willingness, in a co-creative relationship with God, as God, as we are all - the embodiment of all that is…
I ask.
Please show me the next step.
And that, in itself, is a command.
I am ready.
I am here.
I am willing.
I know that it exists.
I know that, in my willingness to even ask the question from an empowered place, I have readiness.
When I come from a place of feeling like a victim. When I come from a pleading energy, it doesn't have the same power. It doesn't have the same effect.
When I stand in that place of knowing - remembering - and ask for soul guidance.
We are shown. We are guided by synchronicities, by reflections in the outer world, by friends coming into our daily experience and saying just the right thing.
By the signs and symbols in the world that really land. That aren't just “It's a sign!”
The resonance, the timing, the appearance of those signs and symbols and synchronicities lands differently when it is Truth. When it is Spirit, soul, God directed guidance.
And.. It is a practice.
It is a practice that, at least, to my experience is a lifelong practice. It is something I get to continually be reminded of, and my re orientation to it is a little bit quicker each time.
But it does take willingness.
It takes willingness to let go of feeling sorry for myself.
It takes willingness to let go of feeling like something happened to me - they are doing it to me. Help me, please.
That is not the energy.
I see that I've allowed myself to be controlled by whatever it is.
Show me show I can best resolve this.
Show me a reflection that is a different way.
Show me in the way I can best see what it is I need to see and hear and know.
And as my mentor reminds us, commanding God isn't about, “I need this by Tuesday at 9 a.m.” - as much as I have tried to implement that.
When I recognize that that attempted implementation comes from a place of fear - “I have to pay the rent by the 31st of the month. I need this money now.” is a different energy, than “I know that this amount in finances are required. I trust, that I will be shown how to manifest them.”
And...
I trust the timing - because it may not happen on the 31st of whatever month.
And if it does not, I know that there's something deeper that needs to be shown that needs to be taken into my experience.
And I get to respond to that from a place of trust or fear.
Often it's some back and forth between both of them.
Ultimately, when I can get back to seeing everything, everything, as happening for me - not in a bypassing way, but in a true acknowledgment of what occurred, the unfolding always happens. In my highest good.
